Intention … the worthy seed
Author: Dr Neena Verma
‘Humans of Delhi’ story of Neena Verma
“Growing up, I was fascinated by psychology. But my elders chose commerce for me. I made it to SRCC and DSE, which further convinced everyone that they were right.
TOI Micro Review of Grief-Growth-Grace
Micro review: 'Grief Growth Grace' by Neena Verma
Counselor, life coach, and ‘Grief and Growth’ specialist Neena Verma’s new book ‘Grief Growth Grace’ was published in November 2021. As the title suggests, ‘Grief Growth Grace’ is about healing and finding purpose in life in the aftermath of a personal loss.
Begin with Gratitude
Goodbye with Gratitude
WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY
Namaste
Trust you all are at your healthy, happy, hopeful & resilient best.
What a beautiful & meaningful way to start this important day, with a warm & deep conversation with my wise son Pratyush Verma who reminded me that —
“Spirit of Hope” is the only thing that stays in the Pandora’s Jar even as all the adversities, evils, fears & pains get un-boxed & un-leashed.
HOPE, indeed — my wonderful friends, always stays with us, no matter what. It is the most precious gift we can make to ourselves when in trauma or pain, along-with its buddies of faith, patience, resilience, gratitude and meaning.
What made my day even more meaningful was the opportunity to speak as a panellist at the “Wellbeing Conclave” organised this morning by IIM Bodhgaya’s “Samatvam – The Mindfulness Centre”.
It is so heartening to see a B-School not just mainstreaming “Mental Wellbeing” in the management education, but also taking the courageously initiating conversations on the unique and uncommon but sorely needed theme of “Grief & Growth”.
My warmest appreciation and gratitude to the IIM-BG Director Dr Vinita Sahay, and her illustrious team of Dr Teena Bharti & Dr Nidhi Mishra for their thoughtful endeavour. I also thank my fellow panellist Dr Shubhra for enlightening us about the inspiring initiatives that her organization has undertaken to support employees coping with loss & trauma. Most of all, I must appreciate the amazing student fraternity at IIM-BG for their appreciative & engaged participation in this unique discourse.
I am happy to support those in grief and trauma, especially as a pro-bono service to those who need this help but are financially challenged to afford this.
Buzz me for expert help & empathetic companioning to facilitate “Grief & Growth” journey of anyone you know needs this help.
Reach out to others in pain. And remember to care for yourself.
Stay safe, healthy & happy. And continue to grow.
With love & light
Neena Verma
BREATHE & STAY-PUT
Namaste
Trust you all are at your healthy, happy and appreciative best.
As some of you know I am a recent corona survivor with near-death experience. Almighty God’s Grace, my medical team’s expert care, and prayers of my family & friends sailed me through my dark night of soul.
In the midst, I got some precious life lessons from the most unexpected teacher one could have – the disease itself – the dreaded corona that kept me in ICU for several weeks, and in long-Covid for nearly two months thereafter.
BREATH — I realised how we so routinely take for granted so many simple & not-so-obvious things in life, most of all something singularly fundamental to life – BREATH.
Dangling between life & death for several days, when I was gasping for every single breath despite being on non-invasive maximum oxygen dependence & my traumatised body was caving in … all that my heart wanted was to touch, hug, kiss & bless my younger son who was stuck in the US; hold my husband’s hand; seek & offer forgiveness for all the wrongs committed & suffered; and say goodbye with peace, love, gratitude & grace.
With some mystical design, in the midst of such trauma, a moment with my elder (transcended) son resurfaced & reminded me of his wise words when he was all of 17 years old – “one is not dead as along as one is alive”.
Long story cut short, I realised my job in that critical phase was to STAY-PUT and continue to BREATHE nonetheless, however impossible it felt.
I felt the supple power of FAITH, HOPE, LOVE, GRATITUDE & STAYING-PUT when engulfed in my trauma. I am now so much more conscious & mindful of the experience & process of BREATHING, and have taken to tree plantation with gratitude & gusto.
I am sure many of you must have also felt or witnessed something similarly meaningful in the midst of adversity, trauma or loss. Please share your stories & growth lessons.
And stay tuned for further updates on release of my forthcoming book –
“Grief … Growth … Grace – A Sacred Pilgrimage”
Stay safe & happy. Take care of yourself & reach out to those in grief & trauma.
With love & light
Neena Verma
My Book – “Grief … Growth … Grace – A Sacred Pilgrimage”
Namaste
Trust you all are at your healthy, happy and appreciative best.
As per HINDU Calendar, today is Mahalaya Amavsya (no moon night). Mahalaya implies dissolution, salvation & regeneration. This day is significant in HINDU tradition in two ways. The morning of Mahalaya culminates the 16-days long phase of praying for & bidding farewell to the departed ancestors & the deceased loved ones. And the evening marks the invocation & welcome of Goddess Durga.
It is the day (though English calendar date that year was 24th Sep 2014) that my elder son transcended beyond the mortal world.
For some years since my profound loss, it was unimaginably painful & hard for me to recognise this day as also the day of welcome (of Goddess Durga) & worship.
Long story cut short, a consciousness shift happened at some point, and I understood that “farewell” & “welcome” represent the eternal nature of ‘Mother Nature’ & the Law of Life. Endings and beginnings are not opposites. If anything, they co-create the dance of life.
‘Farewell’ & ‘Welcome’ are both the songs of seasons.
A season of GRIEF, also unravels & heralds the season for GROWTH.
I delve deep into this subject in my forthcoming book —
“Grief … Growth … Grace – A Sacred Pilgrimage”
published by RUPA Publications India, and due to release towards the end of October 2021. Stay tuned for more.
And in the meanwhile, reach out to people in grief & truama, and hold respectful supportive space for them as they affirm their grief, and adapt to their loss-altered reality with faith, resilience & meaning.
With love & light
Neena Verma
My transcended son inspiring me to plant ‘Tree of Life’
Namaste
This is not a professional post. Read on nonetheless, if you believe that life is larger than work & profession, and that ‘grief’ , ‘growth’ & ‘grace’ are existential co-pilgrims.
Yesterday was 7 years since my son Utkarsh transcended. We chose to sow & grow strength in the garden of our sorrow, and water it with our tears of love.
We visited Utkarsh’s university (NU) and hugged the Neem tree that he had planted 11 years ago soon after joining B.Tech. It was both a sombre moment as well as a strength-full experience. We planted four trees, and recreated our family of four.
And then we visited the UTKARSH Reading Alcove, that thanks to University leadership’s support, we have instituted in Utkarsh’s loving remembrance at NU library. 240 non-academic books on wide-ranging themes of literature, nature, poetry, metaphysics, contemporary affairs, psychology added, and more on the way.
We also contributed at a tree plantation movement in Delhi, and sent library-in-class kits to Chhattisgarh for socio-economically disadvantaged tribal children.
When in loss, remember to continue showering love.
When in grief, remember to seek the path of growth & grace.
And as my wise (way ahead of his 22 years) son, Utkarsh would aver —
“Share with all your love & do what you can”
How are you sowing strength in the garden of sorrow, and doing what you can! Share your stories & views.
With love, light & grace
Neena Verma with Yogesh Verma & Pratyush Verma
BREATHE, GRATITUDE, LOVE & PRAYERS
Namaste.
Trust you all are at your healthy, happy and appreciative best.
It has been three months since I got discharged from hospital after a near-death encounter with corona. Thanks to Almighty God’s benevolent grace, the medical team’s expert care, prayers of my family, and kind wishes of many – my 35-days long hospitalization, for most part in ICU and on oxygen support, gratefully culminated in my doctor saying “born again”. By the grace of God, my husband’s infection was not serious and he had a relatively smooth recovery.
I had become oxygen dependent at home itself, a week before we could secure hospital beds. My body was in acute distress & pain, and my condition was deteriorating with every passing minute. I remained restless for some days. A moment came when I had a stark feeling of death seeing me in the eyes. I couldn’t feel my body. I couldn’t feel myself in my body. I was slipping into a dark limbo. From seconds to minutes to hours to days to weeks, the liminal experience of being in-between lingered on.
And then, almost mystically I began feeling more and more calm, peaceful and acceptant within and outside. Few words from a poem that I had written in early April started to sing in my heart. No profound poetry coming from some serious contemplation. It was like most of my free writing, a few spontaneous words or lines, mostly on the run and in the flow-of-the moment way. Here are the specific words that began buzzing –
“What is the angry full river
without the tiny gentle stream
that chooses to drift away
to drench and nourish a barren valley”
… Neena Verma, 10th April 2021
Pain began to melt and fear disappeared, even though my physiological condition continued to remain grim, and despite the wide-spread pain and trauma in the atmosphere around. Somewhere a consciousness shift happened – from the angry full river of corona, to the tiny gentle stream of faith, hope and resilience within, that was choosing to stay in flow, and heal and nourish my traumatized body. Something inside inspired me to transcend the anxiety for whether the next breath would happen or not, and move towards gratitude for the breath that happened against all odds and hope.
This and more, my corona journey left me with several precious moments of meaning and life-lessons, along-side the continued harrowing post-covid complications. I offer my gratitude to corona as well for the meaningful life lessons, which are helping me endure post-covid trials with deeper compassion and warmer strength, and live a more meaning-inspired life.
I had learnt from my transcended son Utkarsh (then twelve) that the true essence of prayer is THANK-YOU. And that is what I offer for all of humankind – today and forever. For the kind wishes and prayers that poured from all over during my illness, all that I have is a heart full of gratitude, love and blessings.
Stay safe, healthy and blessed my dear friends. Breathe THANK-YOU , and watch this space for the precious life-lessons from my Corona Journal.
With love & light
Neena